Eurovision 2017 Grand Final predictions

With the two semifinals passed, it is now time for the Grand Final of the Eurovision Song Contest 2017!

But first, let’s see how many of the countries I predicted to pass Semifinal 2 made it into the Grand Finals:

Predicted Qualifiers: Bulgaria, The Netherlands, Denmark, Ireland, Switzerland, Estonia, Israel, Belarus, Norway, Croatia

Actual Results: Austria, Romania, The Netherlands, Hungary, Denmark, Croatia, Norway, Belarus, Bulgaria, Israel

*countries bolded in the actual results are the countries on my Semifinal 2 predictions

Like SF1, I got a 7/10 on this one as well. Not sure if that makes me good enough to be a Eurovision expert predictor. There’s even more robbing in SF2 than in SF1. FFS, Estonia, Switzerland and Ireland were robbed! Especially Estonia whose only problem in the live staging was a mild technical error.

This is probably me to the SF2 juries right now:


Okay, but the show must go on and now, here is my prediction of the Grand Final. On this prediction, I’ll only show the entries who are likely to enter the Top 10 + a short comment on why it is so.

Eurovision Song Contest 2017 Grand Final Top 10 [predicted]

12 points – France – Alma with “Requiem”

France has a huge chance of winning this year, for three reasons:

  1. France performs last in the Grand Final which makes their song fresh in the minds of the viewers. That being said, people are more likely to vote for France.
  2. “Requiem” has this unique charm that makes it a distinctly French entry. Eurovision audiences love that, especially when it is done seriously!
  3. France saved themselves from fascist rule and Europe is celebrating it. They might as well extend the congratulations by awarding points to France at the Eurovision. Plus, something like this caused Ukraine to win last year – Europe congratulating them for returning to Eurovision after a one-year absence brought about by a political crisis.

10 points – Bulgaria – Kristian Kostov with “Beautiful Mess”

Previously my #1 until France gave us Alma’s staging for the Eurovision and Emmanuel Macron. Nevertheless, I still love Kristian Kostov and his song – it’s just that France is in the right moment to win Eurovision – they deserve to win this year after sending a good song and dodging a fascist in the process. As for Kristian and Bulgaria, there’s still 2018, and 2019 if 2018 isn’t going to favor them well. Kristian Kostov, if you are reading this, I still love you, really!

8 points – Portugal – Salvador Sobral with “Amar Pelos Dois”

This is the only ballad that doesn’t put Eurovision viewers to sleep. Plus, the song has a really heartfelt message personal to its singer (for those who missed it – it talks about Salvador’s bond with his sister, Luisa). Not to mention that Portugal is on top of the Eurovision predictions of bookies as well as majority of the fandom – when they’re not busy talking about Francesco Gabbani and the resurrected Harambe which leads us to…

7 points – Italy – Francesco Gabbani with “Occidentali’s Karma”

Previously the Eurovision fandom’s favorite to win until the Italian delegation somewhat fucked up with Francesco’s staging by giving us something less than we expected. However, they kept Harambe, the song has a profound message and Francesco is still a good sport about this so all is forgiven.

6 points – Belgium – Blanche with “City Lights”

This song has grown in me, I swear! Blanche slaying the semifinals made that happen. She piped down all the doubters and I love that. She is not going near the bottom of the scoreboard anytime soon – and that’s proven with “City Lights” soaring on the iTunes charts of various countries, and soaring on the betting odds, after she made it through SF1.

5 points – United Kingdom – Lucie Jones with “Never Give Up On You”

I almost made a typo there…almost typing “EU” instead of “You”. Some people believe UK’s entry is a subtle reminder of Brexit – after all, “Never Give Up On You” could be punned into “Never Give Up On EU” which either means (1) Remoaners or (2) Theresa May squeezing the EU until it gives the UK a good Brexit deal. Seriously though, this song has a fair chance of being in the Top 10 – coming from the fact that its singer won the X Factor a few years back, and that, the song is written by Emmelie De Forest, winner of Eurovision 2013.

4 points – Moldova – Sunstroke Project with “Hey Mamma”

Three words: Epic Sax Guy

3 points – Armenia – Artsvik with “Fly With Me”

Armenia has been sending fierce singers who can give Beyonce a run of her money since last year. “Fly With Me” is a fairytale in song form and the staging has pink all over it – and watch out for Artsvik voguing during the dance break.

However, Artsvik isn’t the only one voguing this year…

2 points – Azerbaijan – Dihaj with “Skeletons”

Also known as that other Eurovision entry where the singer is voguing. This one’s got a fierce singer too, which is a break from the screamfest that Azerbaijan sent last year. Seriously, Dihaj > Samra. Plus, she’s got a bloke on a horse mask with her.

1 point – Romania – Ilinca and Alex Florenca with “Yodel It”

I honestly thought this was a joke entry at first, maybe because of the yodeling. But seriously, this is Eurovision Top 10 material for the reason that the inclusion of yodeling was done with good taste. Would have done better as a Swiss entry though.

The Afterthought

Am I going to get a 7/10 on this prediction like the last two predictions I made for this year’s contest. I don’t know. What matters is that I hope France wins and Bulgaria stays in the Top 5.